Mastering the Art of TEDx Speaking and Public Speaking with Coach Teri Kingston

Have you ever wanted to master the art of public speaking or dreamt of landing a talk on the TEDx stage? Join us as we converse with Teri Kingston, an acclaimed public speaking and TEDx coach, who unveils secrets of the TEDx universe and how to navigate it. Teri, known as one of Canada's top 10 speaking coaches, takes us on a journey through the evolution of the speaking industry and expounds on the transformative role of TEDx in it.

Permit us to guide you backstage into the world of TEDx speakers, where Teri shares nuggets of wisdom from her rich experiences as a selection committee member. She goes beyond the surface to reveal the intricacies of the TEDx speaker process. From creating compelling talks to resources for TEDx applications that don't cost an arm and a leg, Teri lays it all on the table. You'll feel the magical aura of TEDx as Teri paints a vivid image of the significant difference between the grand TED conferences in Vancouver and the more localized TEDx events.

Our conversation takes a deeper dive as Teri unravels the fear and success associated with the TEDx stage. Through her own journey and her client's experiences, she illustrates the potency of TEDx as a platform for thought leaders and speakers. 
Teri Kingston is a certified World Class Speaking Coach and has been coaching TEDx Speakers since 2015. She enjoys being part of the selection process and helping curate ideas that can truly change the world. 

Her own TEDx talk, “Can We Live Better by Talking About Dying?”, was viewed over 40K times in the first 24 hours of being posted. 
When she isn't coaching speakers or delivering talks of her own, she eats too much dark chocolate as she sits and soaks in the sea air of St Andrews, NB.

In other words, Teri knows what makes TED tick!

Website
https://realimpactspeaking.com/
Teri's TEDx Video
Can We Live Better By Talking About Dying
Pick up a copy of Teri's book
Get Ready For TED When TED is Ready for YOU

Follow Teri on Social Media
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/teri.kingston
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/terikingston/

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Transcript

Matt Soper: 0:02

It's time for Speaking of Speaking Quick tips and tools to take you from stage fright to spotlight. This podcast gives you an inside look from the world of public speaking and speaking secrets. You need to be bold from the stage, no matter what business you're in. The host of Speaking of Speaking, Carl.

Carl Richards: 0:20

Richards. Thank you, Matt. Yes, it's another edition of the Speaking of Speaking podcast. You know we have had so many different guests on our show, talk about many aspects of speaking from standing on the stage to storytelling, to stage fright but the one thing we've never talked about is those three letters I guess five, and you'll know what those three slash five letters are in a moment. And that's that's Ted. Ted. It's a very prominent name out there in the speaking world, and our guest today is not only has been on a TEDx stage and I want her to share the difference of what those two things are but but she's also a TEDx trainer.

Carl Richards: 1:03

Teri Kingston is a public speaking and TEDx speaker coach. In 2023, she was listed as one of Canada's top 10 speaking coaches. Now, through her business real impact speaking, she helps to amplify presentation skills using Ted style storytelling techniques. Now Teri understands how to help speakers discover, design and develop their best talks, and her mission is to help people get their valuable perspectives and ideas out into the world in a way that will truly resonate with their audiences every time they step out on the stage. I've known Teri for I'm afraid to guess how many years, but we've spent a lot of time in the speaking world together. Teri, welcome to the podcast.

Teri Kingston: 1:46

Oh, thank you, Carl. This is delightful and yes, we have known each other for way too many years to count.

Carl Richards: 1:52

I won't count the number of years, but it's at least seven years. We met in Toastmasters yes we did.

Carl Richards: 2:01

We met in Toastmasters, district 61. Woohoo, it's almost like a distant memory because we, you know, we got our chops wet in the speaking world in Toastmasters and both stepped into the speaker trainer arena and I'm not spending much time in the speaker training arena anymore, focusing more on podcasting, and you're doing something still within the speaker training world but have expanded it to TEDx. How did you find your way into the TEDx world to begin with?

Teri Kingston: 2:33

Well, way, way, I'm still in the Toastmaster world, by the way, I did step out for a little bit. But Toastmasters is one of those organizations that I feel if I still have something to give, I'm going to keep on giving until I have nothing left to give, and I got so much out of being a Toastmaster, including meeting my late husband. So to me it's just a delightful organization with some of the best people coaches, mentors, friends that I know. But at one point and I think you know this because you and I were both doing the same thing at certain times I wanted to win the world championship of public speaking and be the you know, you know the best speaker in the world. When I joined and I was a young and naive baby Toastmaster and I did a lot of extra coaching. I took courses and at one point I certified as a world class certified speaking coach with one of the champions from the world championship of public speaking and that was a huge learning opportunity. But it was while I was part of the sort of champion's edge and still hoping I could make it, you know, out of our district and onto the higher levels of competition in Toastmasters that one of the winners from. I think, oh, he's going to shoot me for not knowing.

Teri Kingston: 3:47

2002, world champion of public speaking was Darren LaCroix, and Darren had an article in the Toastmaster magazine which I read religiously the minute it arrived paper copy and in it he talked about what he called Ted Fluence and what hit his premise for that article was the world championship of public speaking was changing.

Teri Kingston: 4:10

Toastmasters needed to get up to speed and change their attitude and their demeanor on a stage to be more like Ted's style speaking, which was really gaining in popularity. 2015 was kind of the baby years for Ted X, and so Darren's article was the springboard for me. I read it. In that article he was promoting a learning tool from someone that he knew called how to Rock a Ted Talk, and it was a little, you know, it was a little USB stick with brilliantly thought out. He did all the introductions to the different components. I took that, learned it inside out, ran with it and started, with the author's permission, started giving classes and, you know, get ready for Ted. Like, what is a Ted Talk? How do you change your thinking about speaking about an idea in order to get on a Ted stage? And out of that? That was, you know, seven years ago maybe, and it just kind of grew from there.

Carl Richards: 5:13

Wow, what an amazing, a n amazing story in itself. And this has gone even further for you because you've spent this last few years. This is being recorded the late summer of 2023. So you've spent that time doing coaching your own speaker, training and coaching, but then also the Ted X coaching. But now it's morphed into Get Ready for Ted, when Ted is ready for you, which is an upcoming book which is going to be a great tool for people who are looking to get on the Ted X stage. So we'll talk about that as we talk about the episode and as we go.

Carl Richards: 5:51

One of the things you said that was, I think, spot on is that as something new comes out, sometimes the old guard has to change as well. So you made the. You know you alluded to Toastmasters having to change their world. Champion of public speaking, you know contests or rules or whatever. It was Ted X being the catalyst that probably has affected some of that change. What has, what have you noticed in the Ted X world as you've stepped into it? That you know changes that have happened or things that are evolving in that space?

Teri Kingston: 6:23

Oh, lots. It's because it's gotten so large and there's something like 3000 Ted X events all over the world every year. But what's happening is communication skills are changing all the time and people, in order to stay current and relevant, need to upgrade their communication skills. What has happened is, when Chris Anderson first put out the thought that you could get on a stage and give really valuable content in under 18 minutes, people were horrified, especially professional speakers or keynoters. I can't say something of value in under 18 minutes. Who do you think you are, you know? And yet 18 minutes was the sweet spot then for audience attention and for a speaker to be able to get across a valuable message in a way that would stick and resonate in that time period. Chris has a wonderful way of explaining that in his own book called Ted Talk, which is fabulous.

Teri Kingston: 7:20

But what has happened since then is now I'm looking at events and I look at event application sites all the time. That's one way I stay current and one way I can guide my clients who want to get on a Ted X stage to what event coordinators want. Now, today, a lot of them are now saying 10 minutes, maybe 12 minutes if you're lucky One I listened to just yesterday and Asheville was saying you will have 15 minutes on our stage. That's a luxury right now. So that has changed. They are asking people to be more concise, to be more, and it more and more audience focused.

Teri Kingston: 8:00

Like what's in it for the audience. Like you can't get on my tech stage unless I know that you're bringing something valuable. That will change the way my audience thinks is what events coordinators are thinking that's what they're looking for. So, yeah, that it's tightened up. It's it's because it's so popular. There could be a hundred to two hundred applications for some of the bigger tech events and there's only maybe eight speaking slots. So you've got so many people competing for a small window of opportunity. And that's kind of why I wrote the book, because I got tired of people not getting through that application process because they didn't know what was expected of them.

Carl Richards: 8:44

And I've actually experienced that and you and I have talked about that off camera, off microphone, several times and I have no issues in saying that.

Carl Richards: 8:52

You know I've applied for Ted X a few times and was not accepted.

Carl Richards: 8:55

But I have applied for Ted X and also been accepted, and I also had the opportunity to MC A very prominent Ted X event here in Kingston. Ted X Queens you a great opportunity. But here's the thing when, when you know you're getting that many speaker applications and you probably applied for speaking opportunities as well and have been turned down, and you scratch your head and go, oh well, that's, that's not cool. I was really looking forward to speaking at that event, not knowing that they might have received not just Ted X I'm not just talking about Ted X here but that might have received Five hundred speaking applications for twenty speaker positions over, say, the weekend, the over the course of a weekend conference or something like that. So, but people will get bent out of shape thinking that they're they're a shoe in for a speaker when they don't get that opportunity, not knowing that there's people like you behind the scenes that are fine tooth, combing the application process and picking the best of the best for the stage.

Teri Kingston: 9:58

Exactly, and it is a fine tooth comb. We do, and there are self spread like the Google forms that a lot of the Ted X events use to grab your. You know what is your idea we're spreading. Can you tell it to us in under two hundred words or under one hundred and fifty words? What's your premise? What's your theme? All those things? I have a great template in the book that I use and People literally pull their hair. I pulled my hair trying to do it for myself. It's tough but it works and the clients that have done that, they know what they want and later on in the process of an event team comes back and said we need this for a future media thing. They have it in their templates, so it's understanding. What will get you thrown into the no pile like that, or what will get you that coveted, really sought after? Yes, we want you on our stage. There's no better feeling than when you get that email that says congratulations, you're going to be one of our speakers, you've been accepted.

Carl Richards: 11:03

Yes, you get to speak on our stage.

Teri Kingston: 11:05

Yeah, and then the work starts.

Carl Richards: 11:08

It certainly is a great feeling, and you're right, because having again having MC Ted X here in Kingston, that whole process of and the MC role is completely different, by the way. But you're seeing what the speakers have been through as you're introducing them and you're seeing their talks Two and three times before the event because there's there's some practice sessions. Then you're seeing it at the event. You're seeing the evolution of that, but then you're understanding, okay, that's why they were chosen as speakers and I'm glad that you have some some very valuable resources in the book. Let's talk about how the book came about, because obviously, in the speaker role, in the training role, this is a great resource. But what forced you? What was the, what was the catalyst that made you write the book?

Teri Kingston: 11:53

So I see myself as a speaker coach, not a trainer, because I do a lot of my. I don't do like training programs for speakers, I do one on one coaching predominantly, because that works well for me. I love to have someone in front of me and we go through everything and just build it up from in a really organic way. I don't have a system I put people through. But what I did find is I have a consistent way of having to explain certain things over and over and over again. And it was when, when Samantha Moonsammy, who's the publisher that's helping me get this book out into the world with with her new company called Lucky Book Publishing, she was the one that said we have this little group coaching thing going on and she said start with what are the questions that you answer over and over and over again. And it's almost out of those questions that I built the table of contents. And once you have the table of contents for the book and you know you're why I want to make sure more people get accepted. I hate it when people get no, when they're really good, they've got a great idea that I know would be wonderful, but because they don't know all the ins and outs or the road map to get there. They get rejected really early in the process and to me that's heartbreaking.

Teri Kingston: 13:10

So I wanted to write the book because there are people I want to be able to help understand the inner workings of the magical world of Ted and the difference between what the big Ted conferences that's out in Vancouver once a year, that yet really do have to be quite an elevated author or thinker or leader or innovative scientist or whatever.

Teri Kingston: 13:34

But the Ted X's, which is the localized version of Ted, is where most people have the opportunity to apply locally around where they live. But it's also where they have the opportunity to affect change within their community. And I can tell you this from a selection committee point of view. I would rather work with someone and I have worked with speakers who are terrified of public speaking whose idea was strong enough to get accepted, but actually helping them craft the full talk was like nine months of child labor. It can be really demanding. So I wanted to make sure that people had an easy to use reference that covered all the steps that they would need. I can't guarantee that using the book and doing all the exercises will get them on a stage, but I can guarantee that it will heighten their chances of being accepted, or at least move them one step closer to 10.

Carl Richards: 14:29

So 10X Plus the process of getting on the stage is as you said. Yes, you're a speaker trainer, you're a speaker coach, you help people in that area, but for some people, the thought of investing now that you have the speaking slot, the thought of investing thousands upon thousands of dollars just to give your 18-minute TEDx talk is like, okay, is this really in my budget? Whereas the book covers so many valuable resources that will either lead people to you or say, hey, great, I've gotten the information I need to know.

Teri Kingston: 15:00

I wanted it to be an option because I do have a one-on-one coaching program, the all-inclusive journey to TED. Because I do see, from the time you start to think about your idea to how you pitch it, how you develop it for a selection process, but then, moving it from okay, they said yes, now what? Which, by the way, I think is going to be the second book TEDx said yes, now what? What are the delivery and presentation skills? That's a huge part of my coaching and so it can get really exciting. It doesn't have to be thousands and thousands. It actually shouldn't be.

Teri Kingston: 15:35

Once you get yes from a TEDx committee, they have coaches Like. That's what I did for years with Kanata and Ottawa. I was one of their event coaches. If you get a yes from a TEDx event, the good events will have good coaching staff. I still have clients, though, that will get accepted at an event and they're not feeling like the coach is strong enough. So they'll reach out and I co-coach. I always work collaboratively with the event that they're working with, but I coach them from what I know from a Toastmaster, from years and years of competitive speaking within Toastmasters. But presentation skills is the sweet spot for me. How can I help you? Give your best talk when it counts most. That red dot, that TEDx circle, is probably one of the most intimidating stage platforms out there because it goes up on YouTube forever. You want to do a good job.

Carl Richards: 16:33

It's not a very big dot either. When you step in it and you realize especially for certain speakers who are animated and like to walk the entire stage all of a sudden you're grounded. I know that your late husband, harry, was very good at grounding speakers in their place. They didn't meander all over the stage, but to your point though it's. The book is a great resource. Additional coaching is available for the larger or more prominent TEDx communities, but then also you're also there to assist people as they need it.

Teri Kingston: 17:11

Yeah, I don't know if I can say how much I love the coaching process. I don't think I have had and I say this in the book somewhere I don't think there was one speaker at the end of an event that walked off that TED red dot and didn't come up and say to me two things Wow, I had no idea how much work was going to be involved in getting ready for this. And the other thing was, I had no idea I would learn so much about myself in the process. That's why I coach people this way, because, to me, helping them reach their potential, see not just their idea yet out in the world, but understand more about who they are at the end of the journey. And that's why I call it a journey, and that's why I call it all inclusive, because there's so many things you learn about yourself along the way that when it comes time, when it's your turn to step onto that red dot, you can breathe in and you know you're ready.

Carl Richards: 18:15

Yeah, that's very powerful and I like how you talked about the power of TEDx in the community, that yes, there's the larger TED stages where you need to be fairly well along either the thought leader train or a very prominent, as you say, author or business professional like a Steve Jobs or somebody like that that has such a huge amount of influence, but the TEDx stage can have massive impact in the local community. Have you experienced that in your journey as a coach in the TEDx arena?

Teri Kingston: 18:49

Being what an impact the speakers make after the event is over. To be honest, I still think that's something we can work on as event organizers to do that sort of follow up feedback. I have seen some people go on and make a difference. The hope is that more and more speakers TEDx Ottawa was trying to do Cylons at one point. Covid kind of kiboshed a lot of that at one stage. But the other thing to think about is, again, a lot of people say I want to give a TED talk, I'm not interested in TEDx, I want the big stage, and I have one client right now that I'm working with and I keep letting him know that yeah, you got to do this.

Teri Kingston: 19:29

Brene Brown I think everybody knows Brene Brown TEDx, simon Sinek, tedx Like. There are people whose careers launched as thought leaders and speakers and authors and people who are truly making a difference, started with a TEDx, not TED, and so what's nice for us is that sometimes a talk if it gets a lot of traction right off the bat, all of a sudden you're on the TEDcom main page as well as the YouTube TEDx channel. That feels really good.

Carl Richards: 20:04

Yeah, that itself is powerful. But, to your point, there are so many people who have started or had, or their speaking space has been on, not to downgrade the size of the stage, because it's probably about the same. They've spoken on the TEDx stage and Brene Brown, Simon Sinek these are some very prominent thought leaders and I know that Darren LaCroix and you've probably heard him say this many times as well in the Toastmasters journey stage time, stage time, stage time. Why wouldn't you take TEDx stage time to put your message out there? That's the biggest power.

Teri Kingston: 20:46

I'm not the kind of speaker that can stand in an arena with 55,000 people staring me in the face while I give my 18 minute message about can we live better by talking about dying was the title for my TEDx talk, but 55,000 people and more have watched that talk on the TEDx YouTube channel and I know by the comments and the likes and the feedback that I've gotten from many people that I changed how they think and that, to me, is the purpose. Audiences start in their current situation that I think this way about death and dying. I have a desired situation. I want to coach them through the story journey so that when I finish speaking they can go oh, I hadn't thought of it that way before. Oh, yeah, Every death isn't such a frightening thing if I think about it around the kitchen table, which is where I set my talk and my conversations with Harry. So that was my goal.

Teri Kingston: 21:50

I wanted to be able to reach as many people as possible. I was shocked when the numbers went up as quickly as they did for my talk. A lot of people get a TEDx talk and it maybe gets a thousand views or in some will get 20,000 or 25,000 others. I've seen other talks on death and dying, since mine that are in the 3 million, and so a lot of it is what you put in the title. It's like anything else. It's like are there catch words that the YouTube algorithm is going to pick up on as it goes? And I just there was something in the title that captured people's attention and it just started showing up everywhere, so that was huge.

Carl Richards: 22:33

SEO and algorithm with the right keywords is always going to get you some good traction. But congratulations because clearly the message itself also resonated with enough people to have them not only want to watch but also probably share with loved ones and family and friends who maybe were going through some crazy times as well.

Teri Kingston: 22:55

And that was the goal. What I do want to say, though, is what I learned from my own step into the red dot journey.

Carl Richards: 23:03

Yes, please do.

Teri Kingston: 23:04

Was just how terrifying it is.

Carl Richards: 23:07

Yes.

Teri Kingston: 23:07

And as a coach, it's almost extra pressure because you're thinking, okay, you're putting yourself out there as an expert on TEDx and how to do a really good, how to get accepted, how to do all the teddy things that we need to do in order to succeed in that arena. For me to do it myself, that was like walk your talk, woman, but it was terrifying and I have to say and the subject matter was not easy I got turned down from a number of events because I was coming in too sad and too heavy with my topic. I had to learn how to talk about it in a way that would bring understanding and a shift in perspective without people feeling, oh, we're going to talk about death, I don't want her on my speaker list for that event. So once I found a lighter touch and I found just the right touch for TEDxUNB, then it just sort of seemed to take on the life of its own.

Carl Richards: 24:05

Wow, and you were able to take a topic that was very morose and lighten it up a little bit for the TEDx days. That's phenomenal and I congratulate you on doing that. And yes, I've been in that red dot. It's a scary place to be because one of the biggest fears is what if I step outside of it? It's like, oh my goodness, because you're told don't step out.

Teri Kingston: 24:27

Yeah.

Carl Richards: 24:27

Dot right, You're told that.

Teri Kingston: 24:29

Well, yeah, I found my fear was not being able to remember what came next, because we were chatting before the show started. I only had a couple of weeks to actually prepare. Once they said yes, and so I tell people at my age, the one thing I'm guaranteed to retain the most is water, not information, not even my own words and stuff. When I watch it, I can see there's a part in the middle of the speech where I'm starting to back away from the audience because I'm desperately pulling every Toastmaster tool and TEDx tool out of my own mind, like what's next? What's next, you know?

Teri Kingston: 25:07

And the funny part was somebody's cell phone rang in the audience at that moment and I burst out laughing and I said that's Harry. Like that is Harry calling down to say I've got your back, you've got this, breathe in. And I actually said to them we're just going to get a drink of water. And they cut that out at the video. That's on YouTube, which is unfortunate, actually. But everybody burst out laughing when I said that's Harry, you know, he's back here just saying calm down, you know, stay the course, stay the course. And I got through to the end of the talk.

Carl Richards: 25:42

That's the best part of the talk. I can't believe they cut it out. That's the best part.

Teri Kingston: 25:46

I wanted to leave the circle. I wanted to just say that's it. I can't do it. You know, don't ever post this on YouTube. But yeah, that cell phone ring saved my life. On Harry.

Carl Richards: 25:56

Well, I'm so glad you stayed on the stage. There's a couple more things I want to ask you before I turn you loose into the TEDx training world. I wanted to ask you for people who are, who have been listening, who maybe are thinking okay, I'm thinking, I want to get on the TEDx stage. What would be the first step or a couple of things that people should do if they're thinking about that, other than read the book? We'll talk about that in a minute, but what are a few things that people should do if they're really thinking, if they're serious about wanting to get on the stage?

Teri Kingston: 26:25

There's a wonderful little video on YouTube by Chris Anderson, who is the founder of TED, and he talks about the secrets to public speaking from a TED-based perspective. A lot of events sites will send people to that say watch this first, because it's a brilliant visual depiction of what he means by what's an idea worth spreading and how do you, as a speaker, bring that same thought picture into people's minds in the audience. It's a great place to start because TED is all about one idea worth spreading. It's not about five tips to do this, seven ways to do that, 10 best things to blah, blah, blah.

Teri Kingston: 27:05

It's what's your one idea? What's that core part of you? Can you live better by talking about dying? That was my one idea. And then how can you in the application, show a committee that you know what you're talking about and what their audience will receive? So it starts with the one idea. Chris Anderson he's the head of TED. Start with him, read his book, go on the YouTube channel, find Chris Anderson TEDx thingy and start learning. Like, what does the TED world want from you as a speaker? It's very different to being a conference speaker or keynote or any other kind of speech out there.

Carl Richards: 27:44

Well, make sure we put that link to that video in the show notes. Yeah, for sure. But we also want to let you share about the book, because that's certainly going to be again at the recording of this interview. It's September of 2023. The book's coming out very soon. That's very exciting, congratulations. What can people expect from the book?

Teri Kingston: 28:05

They can expect a roadmap One of my clients called it a GPS with everything you need to know to get you from. I call it from zero to TED To get you from. You have no idea how to even start to. They said, yes, that's the goal of this book. It's not about how to deliver well or memorize your talk or all the things that come after the yes. This book is to get you from. I want to give a TEDx talk to oh, these are the things I need to do. Oh, here's how I apply and yay, I got my yes, that's what the book is designed for.

Carl Richards: 28:40

I love it. Get ready for TED when TED is ready for you. We'll be posting those links in the show notes as well, so make sure you grab a copy of Terry's book. It'll be an amazing companion, certainly if you're looking to get on the TEDx stage and beyond that. My guest today has been Teri Kingston. He's a friend first and foremost, speaking rival second and foremost, and also fellow speaker in the speaking world who's doing some amazing things. Teri, before I let you go, I'll give you the final thought.

Teri Kingston: 29:10

My final thought is it takes a while to find who you are as a speaker. The TEDx coaching that you go through at an event really does help you evolve some of that. It takes time Practice. Practice your thoughts with someone else, go to a Toastmaster meeting, try these things out. But what you need to do is take all the advice from everybody else and then figure out who you are as the speaker and then be ready to step forward with your authentic voice, without one idea that you just cannot not spread, and then just give it all you've got.

Carl Richards: 29:49

I love it and, Teri, I think that's a great place to leave it. Teri Kingston, thanks for being my guest today.

Teri Kingston: 29:54

I appreciate it. Thank you for having me on your show.

Carl Richards: 29:57

And remember, get out there and own the platform.

Matt Soper: 30:01

Thanks for listening to the Speaking of Speaking podcast. Fired up about something you heard today, want to learn more? Be sure to visit carlspeaksca, and don't forget to follow Carl on Twitter at CarlRichards72 or join the Facebook group Speaking of Speaking.